Today is a tough time to be a beautiful person inside and out. We are filled with things we ought to be, growing up. Be nice, don’t be angry, and don’t talk about people behind their backs, being a nurse is a respectful job, get good grades at school or you won’t amount to much.
Then there is the way we are supposed to look, be skinny, wait! No skinny with a big bum!, have big breasts, actually it’s completely ok to have surgery if you don’t. Straighten the life out of your hair with 500C hair straighteners! Actually wear your hair curly. Die it bright red to be like Rhianna then Black to be like Kim Kardashian. Don’t wear too much make-up be more natural, wear lots of make up its more dramatic!
The pressure to look good today is all around us, from bus stops, to buses to magazines to newspapers to social media. We are surrounded by images that are of human beings that have been modified to fit within a uniform of social acceptance. This is creating a nation of insecure people who are going to extreme lengths to fit this uniform of social acceptance, in the shape of fad diets, eating disorders, intense exercise regimes, quick fix tablets or even surgery or intrusive injections.
Photo shopped images used to be restricted to the media but now many platforms that you can upload photos to come with an easy to use photo shopping tool. Facebook is filled with pictures that are not true life photos and have been uploaded to the uploader’s bias image of perfection. This is creating an ideology in people that people look a certain way, when they just don’t. Snapchat has filters that take 10 years of you in an instant!
It is impossible to compete with this level of photo shopping however I realise it is not as simple to say ‘don’t compete with it’. We all have that friend on the other hand that says ‘This is me, deal with it!’ I would strive for us all to be a bit more like this but with less attitude but instead graciousness. It would seem that many of us give up competing in our 30’s and a great deal of comfort goes with this letting go. However I have encountered people much older still competing with the fact they are getting older.
I have worked with people who have insecurities and don’t accept their differences and this ultimately fuels low self-esteem. Often a message given at a young age fuels this insecurity, ‘you’re getting a bit chubby’ ‘you’ve got hair just like your father’ ‘you have pasty coloured skin’ these are just a couple of examples of the types of things that can be said that fuels low self-esteem as we get older.
I would like to say it is as simple of just pointing out a few positive things about a person before they realise that they don’t have to compete with the world’s photo shopped images or beautiful people of the world. I believe it needs to go a little bit further back than that. An exploration of some of the things that were said to us as a child by our parents, grandparents or playground bully’s. Because there are plenty of photography companies out there that will happily take you’re hard earned money in exchange for photos of a photo shopped version of yourself that you are happy with but I believe that happiness won’t last long.
I am equally as guilty as the next person, but all too often we look to external factors to make ourselves happy. Looking like a certain person, wearing certain designer clothes, buying a piece of jewellery, going for a drink, going on a shopping trip. So many of us are convinced that something external can make us happy. I believe this is an illusion put in place to trick us into attempting to buy our way to happiness because that suits a capitalist society.
Here are a couple of things I believe can help you work towards a happier you.
Don’t compete with the way other people look, you are not them they are not you.
Remember many of the pictures you see today, even of your Facebook friends are photo shopped.
There is only ever going to be one you, be you gracefully.
One person’s opinion is not a fact.
Confidence is a powerful and attractive trait, confidence can be faked remember that 😉
Smile like you mean it and feel the changes within.

Happiness needs to be found within
I do believe that counselling can be a place to explore your insecurities and using techniques to suit you we can move closer to accepting yourself and discovering happiness within. Gently unravelling some of the messages given to us as a youngster and softly releasing these demons can be the first steps towards self-acceptance and a happier you. If you are ready to find a happier you I would be honored to help you explore the beauty in you and aid you along your discovery that life is not photo shopped. If you are ready contact brighter-pathways.co.uk to start your journey today.