It has taken me a while to break my silence on the Coronavirus and write a blog offering COVID19 Counselling support. My thoughts have gone to every business from prettylittlethings.com to Supermarket giants such as Sainsbury’s and Tesco’s have all found a way to advertise using the Coronavirus as a thing to springboard a marketing campaign from.
Advertising in this way perhaps goes against what I feel is ethical. Using the vulnerability of ones’ fears as a way to get into the wants and needs of a that person. You might ask yourself, ‘So why are you writing this blog then?’
What are peoples struggles and can counselling help?
For me it is around the fact I honestly believe that counselling can really help during times of uncertainty, that it is a genuine thing to put out there during these times of what must be for some, horror!
Here I list a handful of some of the emotions, thoughts and events that could be being experienced during these times.
- Money worries
- Health Anxiety
- Separation anxiety
- Health anxiety
- Loss and grief
- Domestic abuse
- Increased alcohol or drug use
- Relationship breakdown
- Loss of social life
- Complicated grief
- Funerals by video link
These are just some of the things people could be experiencing during these difficult times. There may be more than one thing on that list you are experiencing or a host of other things that are not listed at all.
Is everyone experiencing lockdown negative?
I have heard about positives coming out of the lockdown that has occurred to curb the spread of this disease. I have heard of love stories that have blossomed where 2 people that barely know each other have chosen to be locked down together and allowed their fairy tale to develop from there.
I have also spoke with homeless people who have not had shelter over their heads for some time, now find them self in luxury hotels funded by the local authority.
This takes my thinking to a song by Bristol’s Massive Attack ‘The Hymn of the Big Wheel’ where one of its prominent lyrics belted out by Horace Andy goes as follows, ‘One mans troubled, while another relaxes……’ This highlights the ups and downs that life can sometime bring. I definitely recommend a listen of this stunning track that offers hope and something that feels a little bit Disney Lion King.
The indiscriminate nature of Coronavirus (COVID – 19)
Whilst there are those that are taking some comfort out of the complete overhaul of life circumstances that have happened in recent times. I also believe the indiscriminate nature of this disease must play some part on the thinking of all of those who have considered their own mortality at some stage of their lives. This disease has killed, young, old, middle aged, healthy, nurses, doctors, community heroes it even took the prime minister down for a few days.
The loss and grief that has been felt by some will be life changing. Loved ones have been lost, but not only have they been lost, the chances are, there has not been a funeral. This for some will trigger something called complicated grief. This happens when the death of someone close to us is sudden, or when there is no body, or when we were not able to say goodbye or maybe the relationship was complicated. When death happens under these circumstances this can trigger complicated grief. In my work as a counsellor, I have facilitated therapy where this process has been unwound and some resolution has been found. This resolution has happened by offering the space to talk in depth about the feelings and details of the loss.
Advice about being stressed and anxious.
Some People I have spoken to in recent times echo feelings of fear, hopelessness, anxiety and stress.
My advice to people at this time is to stay in the present, take each day as it comes, if we look back into the past, we run the risk of disconnecting from our feelings and becoming depressed. If we look to the future, we run the risk of becoming anxious because we can’t predict the future. What I do recommend is seeing what can be rebuilt from what is an existential crisis for us all. How can we dust off look at everything that has happened or is happening and carve out the most effective way of living for our lives and the ones around us?
How can counselling help?
This is not me saying counselling can make everything all better, after all what is bigger than death? I believe nothing is bigger than the loss of someone we love.’ That being said I quote Irvin Yalom here when I say, ‘Sometimes there are things in life that we can never be at resolution with.’
That being said, I believe the very act of coming to resolution with the fact there is no resolution can be steps in the direction of finding some peace with circumstances of this nature. I also believe talking about loss can be a way to discover new sense of purpose and look at how we create bonds with the person/thing we have lost.
The loss of someone we love or care for is not all that people are losing right now. People are losing their jobs, their social lives, part of their identities’ their security, their investments and for some their pensions or business. Some are losing more than 1 of these things all at the same time.
Other ways counselling can help could be, talking about the roles we play in relationships can be a way to help improve our relationships. Talking about feeling isolated and alone, I believe that working towards resolution with isolation and loneliness can be a way to generate peace with it.
I have witnessed time after time that by offering someone a space to talk through their thoughts and feelings that this alone can create a sense of relief and healing
How to get in touch.
Counselling can be a way of reframing things in a way that feels more tangible. It can be a space to put in proportion the things we are feeling. Counselling is an opportunity to get the facts and truths of the challenges we face in our lifetimes, and this process alone can be a way to create mental space and reduce anxiety and stress.
I am still operating during the pandemic but by video call and telephone. When I feel the circumstances permit, I will resume face to face work if that is what you would prefer.
If you would like to get in touch about any of the subjects discussed within this blog, then either email me firstname.lastname@example.org or call on 07903319318. Together we will shed light and clarity on your struggles at this time.