Todays blog is going to talk about something that some of you may not even know exists….. Some that have heard about it may even consider its existence as a bit fairy like and question whether it is real or not. My blog topic is Burn Out. I believe that burn out is something that needs to be less voodoo and more talked about with full acceptance.
If people were more open to the idea of burn out then I think it would happen less. In today’s society we have seen mass redundancies and a constant strive towards getting more bang for your buck that peoples job roles have increased ten fold. This combined with being able to electronically receive communications from our work place by email means we are attuned to work for longer periods of time.
I think if we talked about burn out more it would take the burden out of it and make it more possible to return to work after a period of absence due to burn out. Studies suggest that burn out often leads to unemployment so we need to be considering people’s lively hoods as it could happen to any one of us and is as much an illness as a common cold.
The first time I come across Burn out, I too questioned whether it was something that was true or whether it was something that was fabricated or exaggerated. I wonder though if this was born out of that stiff British upper lip ideology that everyone must ‘keep calm and carry on!’
A few years ago my manager went down with burn out, I didn’t understand it and for the best part I could only recognise the inconvenience it had on me! As an outsider to it I witnessed people comment on how ‘it was alright for some!’ Not to be in work. I probably agreed, however about half of the duration through the time my manager experienced their burnout. I myself felt somewhat vulnerable to it. When I look back now however I see my manager as someone that was victim to the above, an ever growing job description in an establishment where people pleasing was a necessity. When their job role changed the adapted job description was described as ‘A stroke on paper!’ by the Union.
What I question is, what makes people respond so negatively to it. Is there something that we can relate to, to the point that we want to hide away from it, for if we admit it is true we might fall victim to it ourselves? Do we think it is contagious like some sort of stomach bug? Why is it the empathy for it is almost non-existent?
After wondering the answer to this question I have now come to realise that the people that do have empathy for it are those that hold inside the inner scars of it. Those that have experienced what it is, to have spent every internal drop of a care for anything. To have reached rock bottom, where that last ounce of consideration for anything has left you. The realisation that this has happened feels like one final body slam down a well onto a hard rocky surface.
Questions about your own existence enter your thoughts but thinking about this means spending emotional energy that is just not there. So instead you just exist, you get by just being, until the energy to care comes back again. There comes a time when you question if your ability to care will ever come back, because you could easily believe it might not.
Those of you that have been there will recognise that by the way I have described what burn out feels like, will know that I have felt the murky depths of its grasp. I believe that I let my inner imposter rule me, which fried me from the inside out.
I couldn’t believe I had landed such a good job. So inside I felt like a phoney which meant I had to work ten times harder than everyone else. Smiling at people offering to take on more than I could manage, just to prove that I was not an imposter, I was the real deal………… Do they think I am the real deal now? Well part of my healing process is that I don’t care! Not out of arrogance but out of a promise to myself to show compassion for myself in that situation, because if I self-loathed then I would never mend. Burn out is a dark lonely place, but it needs to be in some ways, only you can rebuild you but I did access counselling.
My own individual counselling is where I did my own rebuilding talking about myself and what mattered to me. I rebuilt myself through creative mediums such as drawing and learning the guitar (which I haven’t learnt I might add!). Its where I learned to be more compassionate for myself, its where I learned you can’t keep everyone happy and also you can’t keep one person happy all of the time, particularly if its at a cost to yourself.
The whole experience helped me recognise what its like to be on both sides of burn out. Neither side is a good place to be but I would sooner be on the side where I had not burned every last drop of give a damn! I now believe I can be of great support to people who have experienced burn out and I can be a working aid to somebody who has worked with somebody who has burned out.
How do I think we can stop it from happening? I think being able to openly talk about it in the work place, by not holding shame for not being able to cope with everything thrown at you. We are only human after all. By holding boundaries, by not agreeing to take extra stuff on to please others. Burn out comes at a detrimental cost to ourselves. I think a question we need to ask ourselves when we are taking things on is, What will be the cost to myself? And I am not talking financials here. Accessing counselling early on can help, sometimes we get so lost in our day to day lives that we mismanage ourselves. Having a professional to talk to can really make the difference.
I think one of the most important things are being able to say this one word. It is not a difficult one to remember but it is one that I think some people think saying it will cause offence. The definition for this word in the dictionary is (a negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal, as in response to a question or request) this word is No! It is this word that if used in moderation that will keep us from building resentments. It is the word No that allows us to be autonomous if we are using it correctly in a way that is best for us. It is the word No! That might just save us from burning out, it might just help keep our mental health intact, it might just allow us to be self-governing and in control of our own well-being.
If you have been affected by this topic and you think brighter-pathways.co.uk can help visit the website and contact today.
