Please take the time to read this blog about building resilience in young people today, written by a friend and former colleague of mine Sadie Woodward. If you could share among your friends and comment if you wish also.
BRINGING THE BOUNCE BACK.
Helping Young People become Resilient.
Modern parenting & growing up in today’s highly advanced technological world can be scary and can feel full of obstacles and negativity.
We cannot protect or shield, destroy or even hope to argue with some of the angry, unpleasant and unnecessary comments and images young people are exposed to on a continual basis through various forms of social media.
The way we communicate has to change and we are all trying to develop new ways of communicating within this new sphere. Modern technology has enabled advances in the way we communicate that we couldn’t have imagined twenty years ago. If you are active on social media what becomes apparent is the lack of sensitivity, inhibition and banter/bullying that is prevalent throughout most online platforms, this effects the way we communicate with each other in the real sphere and is contributing to a change of culture internationally. Social media is also a place where you will see sensitivity, empathy and joy actively demonstrated, social media can support and devastate, just like the ways we communicate.
I have been the Head of Department and a teacher within a busy city college, I have worked with hundreds of young people from very diverse circumstances. Being successful didn’t seem to be dependent on their individual circumstances, some of the most disadvantaged young people go on to become the most successful in their group, young people who were resilient were also able to become successful. It wasn’t always easy for them but they were able to ‘bounce back’, try again, overcome adversity. They all shared 5 key qualities and although sometimes in short supply or needing practise, having these qualities available to them as internal coping strategies did empower them to achieve their goals and remain balanced in extreme and challenging circumstances.
Anonymity, banter & bullying seem common place in the life of a young person and they seem to be more exposed to it than people were years ago, recent media interventions and reports have raised awareness of the complexity of online communications, cyber bullying, trolling & grooming. Educationalists recognise the need to teach online safety to children at primary school and anti-bullying policies are fundamental practices in all institutions. We have yet to recognise that we may not be able to protect our children or each other, but we can inform and empower.
The ‘throw away’ or disposable cultural references that appear in many westernised societies also seems to apply to communications, once you have tapped, clicked, sent or pushed your comment, responsibility is absolved and consequences forgotten. For young people struggling to grow up within this environment, exposure to this constant negativity has a huge impact on self-esteem and the ability to maximise their full potential. A recent United Nations report claimed that U.K. children are some of the unhappiest in the world and this becomes more pronounced and even dangerous as these children become teenagers and young adults. We have to help them develop skills that mean this toxic level of communication bounces off and doesn’t soak through, staining them forever.
The five key qualities that we can help children and young people learn and incorporate into their lives are simple steps to achieving great things; energy, hopeful futures, flexible thinking, inner drive & strong relationships.
Having a positive outlook to health & well-being, understanding healthy eating and exercise are fundamental steps in becoming resilient, this isn’t about conforming to an ideal but developing a positive attitude and respect for your own well-being, physical and mental health, small individual goals and progressive steps should form part of everyone’s development, children learn this skill at nursery and school but are not taught how this skill can be transferable outside of learning. Setting and achieving small goals will help to build a personal resourcefulness that will push an individual to keep going, sometimes in awful circumstances. Enabling a young person to build effective relationships with an element of security, honesty and empathy can also help to build resilience. With effective boundaries young people can benefit greatly from strong relationships that are not always familial. Positive relationships can be instrumental in enabling disadvantaged young people to become successful if the intervention happens at an appropriate time. Building relationships, setting goals and being aware of your own health enables you to adapt and develop a way of thinking that is flexible and empowers you to bounce back when you hit an obstacle or when you are faced with negativity, bullying or adversity.
It is fundamental that children and young people can recognise the poisonous and negative aspects of these communications but also to counteract them with strategies that they can transfer to multiple communications and multiple platforms. These could include online gaming forums, ‘Vines’ and the playground, virtual or real.
If we can empower them to develop their own individual ways of ‘bouncing back’ we are assisting them to become successful and confident individuals who feel no need to join in with the negativity and anonymous ‘banter’ that has become part of our everyday lives.
There is evidence to suggest that empowering young people in this way will help them develop the filters and core schemas they need as they transition through life. Nick Lovelace is a counsellor and life coach and he suggested that some of my ideas were backed up in a book by Phillip Zimbardo, he argues that if young people have ‘success’ online through online gaming or profiling this will tamper with their resilience to succeed outside of this sphere. Nick has published similar articles in his blog. The resilience qualities discussed should empower young people outside of these virtual worlds. Jon Lewis, a mental health nurse who specialises in psychosocial interventions, suggested that; “tangible and real processes need to be in place to help young people use social media.” He recognises the positive and negative influences that social media forums can have and the possibility that if not managed effectively can “set up the seeds of anxiety, depression & psychosis”.
We are in agreement that there is a cultural shift happening and the qualities needed to proactively become resilient in a holistic way are vitally important for the holistic health and wellbeing of all of us, especially the future of our young people.
By
Sadie Woodward
If any of the above topics has impacted your life and you feel like you need support with this, perhaps brighter-pathways.co.uk counselling and mentoring services can help.